Reconcilable Differences

reconcilable differences
tim pezzelle
2011-04
 
paige (my younger daughter) and i agree that trying to journal this story will fall short of being able to tell it in person.  the pained expressions, the varying tones of voice...  sherry and i overriding each other with the more accurate version.  it's a very funny story - but i don't write funny very well.   enough excuses....
 
three years after we were married, sherry and i decided it was time to make up for our less-than-exotic honeymoon (three days in sedona).  sherry was a traveler - born for it.  she had spent most of her 29 years going here, there and everywhere.  planning a trip was an odd combination of exhilarating calm for her.   i grew up in a family that wasn't "vacation oriented".  i'm sure we probably took vacations - but i couldn't recount one for you if my very life depended on it.  for me, the anticipation of travel and vacation is torture.  you may think i'm exaggerating - you'd be wrong.
 
let's take a short diversion.  do you know how most people talk about the "adjustments" they had to make in the transition from single to married?  well, they do.... i've heard them....  "i had no idea he........ ".  "the first time she.......  i couldn't believe it".  informal polling tells me that this is normal.  sherry and i went from single to married without the slightest hint of adapting required.  we fit.  we had no funny stories of the surprising quirks that make you wonder if you did the right thing.  we did the right thing.
 
so it seemed.  back to our story...
 
we (okay, sherry) planned a driving vacation from arizona to southern california (to spend some time with an old friend of hers) and then up the coast to san francisco.  along the way, we would stop in san jose to visit with an old high school friend of mine.
 
i'm a nervous wreck from the moment we leave our apartment - but masking it pretty well.  at least i have some sense of control because we're driving. 
 
couple of days in hollywood...... check!
up the coast to san jose for a couple of days.... check!
on to san francisco...  check!
 
we have reservations at "the Lombard Hotel".  i'm driving.  as we approach the city and traffic begins to thicken (make me break into a cold sweat), i ask sherry to get the directions out and start navigating.....
 
tim: "sweetie, where am i going?"
sherry: "well, i don't really have directions"
tim: "we don't know where we're going"
sherry: "no, no...  it's the Lombard Hotel...  it has to be on Lombard street - you know, that famous zig-zaggy street you see in the movies all the time."
tim: "which movie?  was there a map in that movie?"
sherry: "don't worry, it's famous, we can't miss it"
tim: "i'm driving in a place i've never been before to a place i have no directions to... i'm a little worried."
sherry: "look, here's Lombard street"
 
at this moment, she points to one of those teeny, little inserts that sort of provide an exploded view of a corner of the metropolitan san francisco area.
 
tim: "i can't look, i'm driving.....  do i stay on this freeway.... where do i exit?"
sherry: "i'm not sure, there's not much detail here"
 
i think it was at this point that my brain shut down.  i think the blood must have drained into my left foot because i was finding it difficult to continue pressing the gas pedal.  driving....  driving aimlessly....  hope fading....
 
sherry:  "OH, OH.....  exit RIGHT.... NOW!!!!!"
tim: ".... too panicked to say anything"
 
i missed the exit.
 
sherry: "that's okay, just take the next one and we'll circle back"
tim: "what exit was that"
sherry: "Lombard street... i told you it would be easy"
tim: "but we don't know that the hotel is on Lombard street"
sherry: "it's the Lombard Hotel.....  where else would it be"
tim:  "an address would be nice"
 
did you know that "circling back" in san francisco is much harder than it sounds?  we eventually wander around and find Lombard street and follow it thru all the little zig-zaggies from top to bottom and there, at the bottom of the hill is the Lombard Hotel.
 
sherry: "oh my gosh.... it's beautiful!  let's get checked in and start exploring!!!"
tim: "..."
 
we're checking in, sherry is grabbing every brochure in the lobby.  i can barely stand upright at the counter.  we get our key and make our way to the room.
 
i unlock the door, walk over to the dresser, open the top drawer, drop the keys into the drawer, close the drawer....
 
tim:  "please don't ever do that to me again...."  and i fall backwards onto the bed.
sherry: "do what?  what did i do?"
tim: "i need a moment to recover"
sherry: "recover from what?  what's wrong?"
 
two hours later... sherry is internally bouncing off of the walls wanting to take all of san francisco in with a single breath... 
 
sherry: "tim, can you tell me what i did while we go explore?"
 
on this little road trip we discovered what would remain our most significant (pretty much only) incompatibility: travel.  over time, we figured out how to minimize the severity.  to this day, i am a LOUSY traveler.  but the important thing is that i will make myself do it.  there are lots of trips to take in the days ahead and sherry prepared me for them. because of her, i will handle it all better.
as i think about it, it makes sense that she would take the journey home before me - showing me the way... showing me that "it's Heaven.... it's famous, you can't miss it!"

 
bon voyage!